10 Things I Felt and 5 Things I Bought Since My Breakup

We're talking about stuff, both physical and emotional

I’m writing this for posterity/processing to capture ten things that I’ve felt since the breakup. I’m also sharing a few things that I’ve bought that have served me well.

Katie from

My Sweet Dumb Brain

is wrapping up a series of 40 things she learned in 40 years of life. The final essay was very moving and I screenshotted this section immediately.

"But most beginnings look and feel a lot messier than that. Just ask any exhausted parent learning to care for a newborn. A frazzled employee trying to acclimate to a new job. A heartbroken person piecing their life back together after a breakup. New beginnings are exhausting and overwhelming. It’s no wonder we cling to the familiar, even when it no longer fits. Why put ourselves through all that discomfort?

Because that’s how we grow. Not in spite of the pain, but because of it.”

It’s so true and made me feel a little better. Thank you, Katie!

---

Now, we’ll talk shopping, then we’ll get into feelings.

1. My bed set up: A Zinus bed frame, Earthfoam mattress & topper, Costco sheets!

   If you haven’t bought a bed frame lately, you’re so lucky. The options are dire and many things are very bare bones or very expensive or very ugly and expensive. I wanted something simple, but I did not want to buy a headboard separately. My bed is against an exposed brick wall so I don’t want to lean directly in that when I read. I found my bed frame at Bed, Bath and Beyond’s website, which still exists (news to me). You can also get it other retailers. It’s made of real wood, well made, and easy to assemble, according to my dad, who put it together. It’s also $300, which is a really good price point for something so solid. How do I know? When I got to Kaitlin’s house, we were chatting about home things and I showed her the bed frame I had ordered. It was the same one they had in their guest room so I got to test it out beforehand. They got it from Facebook marketplace, which means it’s sturdy enough to last at multiple homes, a great endorsement.

   The mattress was an easy choice. I’ve worked with Earthfoam for almost two years and got to see how their products are made firsthand when I went to Sri Lanka. I’ve also tracked the mattress industry very closely at work and felt best about sleeping on something with natural materials that’s made with care at every step of the supply chain. I know from sending samples that they ship very fast, which was so helpful. The mattress is quite heavy, so we had movers help carry it upstairs and my dad and I unpacked it. The mattress and topper are so soft, comfortable, and supportive. I ordered both since I knew the mattress is on the firmer side and I love them so much. This frame + mattress combo is fairly low profile.

   My mom got me a new set of sheets, which was so lovely, and she swears by these ones from Costco. They feel expensive and cozy. I went with white since they have limited options and white is always crisp. My aunt Sharon and aunt Patti recommend these sheets too, so they’re a family favorite. The advice to refresh your bed after a break up is correct.

   

   Morning light in my room. The painting is by my Aunt Lois and I’m lucky enough to have two of her pieces in the apartment.

2. My monthly Nuuly! Get $30 off with my link if you want to try it!

   Clothes are so sentimental and certain pieces carry too many memories or associations for me to wear right now. Aside from making a big pile of clothes to donate or sell someday, I’ve been leaning hard on Nuuly. I got one order shipped to Leah’s immediately post break up, which helped me pack for LA and my next Nuuly just arrived. I’ve been using it since October and it’s never felt more helpful. I obviously supplement with stuff I own, but it’s been so nice to have. I’ve rented stuff for upcoming events and best of all, everything comes with no emotional baggage. One of the best parts about Nuuly is the reviews—read them carefully and save things to your closet throughout the month as there’s a lot to sift through. I wind up keeping things occasionally, most recently these Levi’s I’ve already worn many times, and it’s a great way to see how often you’ll actually wear something.

3. Shoes he didn’t like from Camper!

   About a week before the breakup, I got new shoes that my ex didn’t like—I got them at Shoe Market near my office since I love IRL shoe shopping and they have a great selection. I’ve worn them a ton and get a little kick out of it every time. After a big ballet flat phase as a teen, I can’t go back to a super flat shoe as they’re not super comfy for me. I like these cause they have a small sole and a fun buckle detail. I got a blister the first time I wore them, but now find them pretty comfortable—I wore them yesterday and walked 10,000 steps. Next I’m considering buying these red J.Crew sandals for summer. What do we think?

   

   The shoes in question

4. A V60 pour over for my sister.

   I make my coffee in a pour over every morning and have for years. When I was staying with Leah and Erika, I brought my coffee set up and would make us coffee in the mornings. She got very into the pour over life and kept using it while i was in California and even the day I moved back in. I grabbed her a V60 and some filters at Variety so she can keep up this habit. It’s such a easy, lo-fi way to make great coffee.

5. A lymphatic drainage massage at Pure Qi in Greenpoint.

   The body keeps the score! I’ve been trying to make time for exercise and sleep but both of those can be hard. A massage felt really good and healing and Pure Qi does a good one. If you pay cash, you get free hot stones or aromatherapy with your treatment. I also love their foot massages if you have less time. Getting one before dinner is way better than happy hour.

Now onto feelings—these go behind a paywall.