An Apartment of My Own

We're back in Brooklyn!

I started writing this at LAX on my way home to Brooklyn. On Sunday night, for the first time in more than three weeks, I slept in my apartment, where I’ve lived for a few years, but now live solo. I’m beyond grateful for the generosity of friends and family who have housed me (and fed me and comforted me) over the past few weeks, and I’m so excited to be in my own space. Despite having lots of familiar stuff in it, it feels new. I’ve rearranged, swapped in some pieces that were stashed in my parents’ basement, including a 30+ year old Ikea cabinet they got for one of their first apartments, and have a new bed (of course, I ordered an Earthfoam mattress, it is so comfy) and my very own WiFi network.

I have some more changes planned, some practical and some sentimental, and am ready to make the place my own. The process has been exhausting and stressful, but now that I’m finally in the space, I feel a strong sense of possibility. I didn’t wake up one day in March and know the life I built for almost seven years was about to change. But it did. It was slower and also faster. Once I reached a certain point, that I wouldn’t have known until I reached it, I knew that change was necessary. Painful and necessary.

My mind over the past few weeks has been a swirl of emotions and logistics. I set up my utilities, take walks and cry, and dream about getting new curtains and getting handier with home improvements (I have lots of room for growth here). I’m still not sleeping well, but that won’t last forever, right? I’ve been watching lots of classic break up movies (so far I’ve done Sliding Doors and Under the Tuscan Sun) and Sex and the City. I can barely get through a podcast—I’m so distracted and I can hyper fixate on the most random task or memory. I picture myself waking up on a Saturday morning alone, hopefully with a cat, and filling my weekend with exactly what I want. I don’t know what that looks like, but mixed in with my sadness and anger is an excitement to figure it out.

Thursday newsletter’s for paid subscribers will resume this week—thank you for your patience here! This week, I’m doing an AMA so reply to this newsletter or leave a comment with your question. I’m also going to share a tip I use every time I’m in a public place, that I first learned while babysitting. Your support of any kind is extremely appreciated as I enter this new chapter!

Now, let’s dive in.

This would have been on my Instagram grid so fast in 2015

Something to cook:

I cooked dinner for Grandma on Monday and made

Hetty Lui McKinnon

’s broccoli pesto pasta from Tenderheart, one of my favorite cookbooks (it’s not online, shoutout to Tilden for sending me a photo of the cookbook page). If you have the book, it’s in the cauliflower chapter, but I’ve never made it with cauliflower. I added salted cherry tomatoes and it was a lovely dinner. Before dinner, we had white wine with ice, a perfect late afternoon beverage.

Love the dishes Grandma grabbed for this meal.

Kaitlin made us indecision english muffins for breakfast (Serena Wolf coined this term for a half and half toast situation and I love it): one half had smashed avocado and an egg topped with chili crisp and the other half had peanut butter and strawberries. California strawberries are so good.

I landed in New York and made myself a quesadilla with beans and cheese. I dipped it in green salsa and had a sliced bell pepper on the side. I love the crunch of a red bell pepper.

My first “dinner” back in the apartment was popcorn with nutritional yeast. Leah and Erika stayed to have a little toast after being angels and setting up my wifi and tv.

Bar Belly gives everyone free popcorn so this matchbox pairing felt right

Something to order:

Kaitlin, Hayley, Don and I got dinner at Sonoratown's Long Beach location, which was delicious. The vegetarian option is pinto beans and rajas on corn tortillas, and the salsas are so good. After dinner, we walked around and wound up at Long Beach Creamery. I got their signature flavor, Saltine Dream, which includes caramel coated saltines, making it matzo toffee adjacent.

Is there better food than Mexican food? Hard to say! The colors alone!

For lunch one day, Kaitlin, Hayley and I went to Sprouts. It was my first time there and it was fun to spot some clients and browse the bulk bin options. We got sandwiches from the deli and the vegetarian one was only $4.99, obsessed.

We had a cousin dinner at Le Great Outdoor in Bergamot Station. It’s such a cute set up, all outdoors, and the food was seasonal and tasty, especially the crostini and grilled yams. The ordering system wasn’t my favorite, but it was a good spot for a group dinner and taking advantage of the nice weather.

I met Molly at the UCLA Farmer’s Market in Westwood Village, where we sampled lots of fruit and got pupusas for lunch. I love pupusas and got one with frijol y queso and one loroco y queso. The UCLA campus is beautiful and I highly recommend a visit to the beautiful Botanical Garden, which has picnic tables and lots of walking paths.

Would eat this for lunch today in a heartbeat

Anjali and I caught up over Thai food at La Ong (get the garlic noodles with tofu) and Greek yogurt at Go Greek (they have both regular and frozen yogurt and the regular is really good). Full fat yogurt remains a revelation after mostly eating the non/low fat stuff for years.

I got to walk around Balboa Island with Teal and Grandma on a foggy Friday, which was lovely. We stopped for lunch at Crocker’s, which makes enormous sandwiches and slices of pie. I got a veggie burger and they split a sandwich. Don’t skip the sweet potato fries, which were perfectly crisp (hard to do with sweet potatoes). After lunch, we grabbed coffee at Huskins, which is so good.

For dinner, we headed to Lido and got pizza and vegetables at Skal. The grilled artichoke was delicious and the caesar salad comes topped with a parmesan crust. Plus, the views are excellent, especially if it’s not foggy. We spent a long time at the table listening to my grandma’s stories from childhood and then came home to finish watching Under the Tuscan Sun.

It’s like a cheese hat! How fun!

Something to read:

I finally read The Secret History by Donna Tartt, which has been on my list for years. It was darker than I expected and so long, but I’m glad I read it. On my flight home, I read the new Hunger Games (can’t wait for the movie) and I just started Damnation Spring, which Don recommended.

The Miracle of Rice and Beans by

Lukas Volger

Bookmarked this salad that

Julie Vadnal

shared in her fun newsletter

Random, but does anyone have water glasses they really love? I’m in the market for a set and overwhelmed by the options. Stackable preferred!

I’d Watch A Separate White Lotus About What Happened on The White Lotus by

Hunter Harris

I need to visit Amy Sherald’s Whitney exhibit

Amy and Bradlee made this salad recipe I shared in 2017 for a seder this weekend. I’m honored. It’s not boring because it has roasted grapes and a cheesy dressing.

Really enjoyed

Alicia Kennedy

’s dispatch from Lake Como. I’ve never been to Italy and I am so eager to visit.

In Jasmine Guillory’s Flirting Lessons, Black Queer Love Is Given the Romance-Novel Treatment It Deserves

Tablecloths are back! I’ve never owned one but love the idea of using one and then throwing it in the wash.

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Take care! We will get through it!

xo, Abigail