Are you happy to be 29?

Birthday reflections on the messy middle

29 is an age that inspires interesting reactions, both from others and from myself. In some ways, it feels like a year of limbo, waiting for this age 30, that has such pressure around it, especially for women. Now, I’m excited to turn 30 next year and I’ve heard from most people I know that your thirties are better than your twenties (please confirm in the comments). My twenties have spanned so much—I turned 20 while studying abroad in Argentina, which was a very valuable and also a very lonely experience, and have lived in so many apartments, three countries, and two US cities over the past decade. 10 years is a long time, no matter what decade you’re in. I hope my thirties are more stable, but not stagnant.

And right now, I feel a bit stuck in the middle of something. I know I’ve changed and grown a lot since I turned 20, even a lot since I started this newsletter almost five years ago (more on that in October). When I was in my early twenties, I would see people who had jobs they liked, cute apartments, and maybe kids and would imagine them having no problems, except what cool outfit to wear and which chic wine bar to visit. They had made it to being an adult, whatever that meant, and things were good. I just needed to reach this age, which I estimated to be between 32 and 35, and then it would be fine.