This Needs Hot Sauce Special Edition: How to Create the Perfect Cheese Plate

Hi friends,

Welcome to a special edition of This Needs Hot Sauce (And Other Food Thoughts). As a mid-week treat, I wanted to share some news you can use from my friend Charlotte, who currently works as a cheesemonger in Chicago. Buying cheese is super confusing and she has lots of tips and tricks.

Hope you enjoy and let me know if you have some food knowledge you'd like to share with this community. I'll be back Sunday with all the usual stuff.
In addition to Charlotte's great suggestions, I wanted to share two favorite cheese recipes: Pizza Beans and Lentils with Zucchini, Burrata, and Basil Vinaigrette. In each, the cheese is front and center, where it belongs.

To cheese, lactaid pills, and sharing both with friends...here's Charlotte:

I’m an aspiring architect currently pursuing another passion of mine: cheese!  Originally hailing from Philadelphia, I now live in Chicago and work as a Cheesemonger at Pastoral Artisan Cheese, Bread, and Wine.

What does a cheesemonger do?
There are three parts to my job:
First, I sell cheese, which means that I am required to eat and talk about cheese all day (yes, I am living the dream).
Second, I care for cheese, monitoring temperature and humidity of the cheese case and keeping tabs on the health of the cheese by noting things like mold, that may indicate a problem with the cheese, or which might be natural but not so aesthetically pleasing to a customer.  
Lastly, I create catering trays, essentially playing with hundreds of dollars worth of cheese and its accompaniments. I am definitely a cheese snob and want to break down the world of cheese so anyone can enjoy.

Here’s a game plan for creating the cheese plate of your dreams. 

Step 1: Selecting the cheese

When people come to Pastoral and ask for help creating a cheese plate, I typically ask three questions before beginning the tastings.  

Note: You can (and should) always ask to taste cheeses.  Many cheese shops are cut-to-order, so it’s no problem to ask for a sample before you buy.  Even non-artisan stores like Whole Foods will always let you taste and Trader Joe’s has a great return policy if you try something and don’t love it.  If you still feel shy, consider that it’s actually good for the cheeses to be taken out of their wrappings and breathe, so you’re helping the cheese!

1)    How many people are going to be eating the cheese? In other words, how much cheese are we thinking about buying?  I usually recommend a bit less than ¼ lb per person, or ⅓ lb for two, but it also depends if the cheese will be for snacking or a major meal.  When in doubt, I overestimate, since many cheeses will last a few weeks in your fridge if you don’t eat it all at your event. (Ed note: leftover cheese is a good problem to have)
 

2)    How many kinds of cheese are you thinking of providing?  This gives me an idea of what kind of variety they will need.  Usually, people say 2-4, depending on the number of people and whether they will also serve charcuterie.
 

3)    Are there any cheeses you particularly like or dislike?  This often gives me a starting point and lets me know if there are cheeses I should stay away from.  The usual tasting offenders are goat cheeses and blue cheeses. I might still recommend these cheeses, but I try to respect the host’s taste buds above their guest’s.

 

Note: if you have a target spending range, let your cheesemonger know.  Cheeses are sold at price per pound and price varies depending on the cheese and where you’re buying it.  A cheaper price is not necessarily indicative of worse quality cheese, especially if you’re buying at an artisan cheese shop.  You might find the same cheese at different prices at different stores, and this might be due to quality of the cheese, but also a variety of other factors.

Now that I have a big picture idea of what they want, I start sampling my recommendations.  I like to consider textures and flavors (or kinds of milk: cow, sheep, goat).  I consider blue cheeses as a whole other category. The last consideration for me is color.  While aesthetically pleasing to have a nice array of color, you can also add a pop of color with the accompaniments, which we’ll get to later.

Pro tip: Always start with a cheese that’s somewhat familiar and that will appeal to the crowds.  This sets everyone at ease and allows me (your cheesemonger) to move on to more exotic cheeses once that box is checked.  I like to recommend cheeses that go beyond the familiar, things one cannot buy in a grocery store but might resemble flavors or appearances of cheeses you’ve tried before.   Often this will be a cheddar (I’m partial to Aged Chandoka) or brie-style cheese.

 

From there, keep thinking about textures and diversity of flavors when choosing your cheese —this is what will make your cheese plate exceptional.  My recommendation is to let your cheesemonger run free with suggestions, and just let them know how funky you want to get with your cheese selection.  For instance, are you looking for something aged and caramel-y? I might recommend the L’Amuse Signature Gouda. Or perhaps something brothy and mushroomy? I could suggest the Grayson, a stinky wash-rind from Virginia.  Check out this cheese flavor wheel and start trying to fit your tasting notes to these words:

Fun Fact: “barnyardy” is a legitimate tasting note, and means exactly what you think - flavors like manure, or what you imagine a dirty goat might smell like. This is considered a positive attribute for a cheese, though I still find it somewhat hilarious (and yes, people still buy these cheeses.)

This article also has some enhanced flavor profile descriptions.  

I’ve included three sample cheese plate ideas below, notated as: cheese name (type of milk, classification, price per pound).  I’m using Pastoral’s pricing as my guideline, because that’s what I’m familiar with, and I’ve tried to use cheeses that should be available at your local cheese shop, or at least you’ll be able to find something similar. Remember you'll only need 1/4-1/3 pound of each cheese per person.

The Budget Cheese Plate:

Taleggio (cow, wash rind, $15.99/lb)

Barber’s 1833 Vintage Cheddar (cow, cheddar, $13.99/lb)

Bleu D’Auvergne (cow, blue, $16.99/lb)

 

The American:

Humboldt Fog (goat, chevre, $28.99/lb)

Sar Vecchio Parmesan (cow, aged, $17.99/lb)

Bayley Hazen Blue (cow, blue, $26.99/lb)

 

Europe’s Pastures:

1605 Manchego (sheep, aged, $30.99/lb)

Quadrello di Bufala (buffalo, wash rind, $25.99/lb)

Brie Fermier (cow, bloomy rind, $19.99/lb)

 

What's your go-to cheese plate? Reply to this email with your favorites! And a tip from Abigail: Since cheese can be a bit pricey, consider doing a potluck of sorts. With these suggestions, you can assign each guest a type of cheese or an accompaniment and put together a great plate.

Step 2: Bread and Accompaniments

I’m a purist, so I like to eat cheese without too much fanfare, but it’s good to have at least one kind of cracker or bread, and at least one kind of accompaniment.  

The bread/crackers serve as a utensil for eating the cheese but should not overwhelm the cheese itself. Then again, if you’re going to eat it, the bread/cracker should add something to the experience as a whole. I recommend a simple baguette, sliced, or sourdough flatbread crackers.  
Soft goat cheeses are the exception: I actually do like to eat them with crazy crackers. Raincoast crisps are fabulous with goat cheese. (ed note: these are so good and I've seen them at Whole Foods).

For other accompaniments, consider jams or preserves, dried fruit, pickled veggies, or spiced nuts. I recommend digging around in your cabinet until you find something to your taste.  You can get pretty imaginative with accompaniments – there’s no right answer, it’s whatever you’re feeling that day!

Step 3: Assembling your cheese plate

Obviously, you’ll need a plate on which to serve it (whatever is your aesthetic) and one knife per cheese.  If you choose to precut the cheeses (more work for you, but also more artistic liberties with arranging the cheeses), check out some Instagrams for different ways to cut.  I follow Culture Cheese, which features cheese plates and an occasional cute baby goat picture. I would also recommend following your local cheese shop, or any cheese producers that you particularly like.  

Pro tip: When cutting the cheese, I prefer thinly cut bites because I get more flavor and it also forces me to slow down to really appreciate the cheese.  From there, think about how people want to eat the cheese. If there’s a rind, either showcase it or, if you’re worried about people accidentally eating a wax rind, cut it off.  For example, Quadrello di Bufala has this beautiful wash rind that adds both color and texture to the cheese, so I cut that in shingle-like arrangement. (it’s the cheese next to the olives in this photo)

If you’re not going to pre-cut the cheese, or for a cheese such as P’Tit Basque (a favorite of mine), this is a handy tool: cheese slicer

No matter what: Take out the cheeses 30-60 minutes before serving so they’re at room temperature. Don't be afraid to get creative!
 

At the end of the day, don’t stress yourself out - you’ll still be eating cheese, and that’s always a good thing (even if you’re lactose intolerant!  You can still eat non-cow milk cheeses and/or aged cheeses - more details here)

TLDR:

Variety is key. Consider flavor (milk), texture, and color.  Have fun with it!

The opinions expressed in this article do not represent the views of my employer but are based on my own opinions and experiences working with customers and learned on the job from my ever-knowledgeable coworkers (with an occasional google search).

Thanks so much, Charlotte! Remember to follow her on instagram for more cheese ideas. Now go forth and buy some cheeses. Let me know your favorite combos and your favorite kinds of cheese and I'll see you later this week.

Happy eating and thanks for reading.
xo,
Abigail